No digo cosas para decirlos...i love you, take it or leave it.

NC & SC were amazing... i can't even write down what i felt while i  was there. even though it wasn't my first time (more like, my fourth), i felt like i was discovering some hidden garden of everything i've ever wanted. i dno, i can't even write it down. it was just.... awesome.

 

i thought a lot, about pretty much everything. i came to terms with a shit load of stuff... thing i hadn't really thought of, but realized was always in the back of my mind. and now, i feel incredibly free. it's like this huge burden has been lifted off of my shoulders.

 

i feel, more like myself. which is awesome, because for a while there, i was kinda lost. i see things in a different light, i think about things differently and analyze them in a much more affective manner. again, i don't really know how to explain this... but it's like, at this point in my life, i know what i am, what i like about myself, what i don't, and the things i need and am working on to become the girl or young woman i ultimately want to be. i grew up, i guess. not just over spring break... but over a lot of time. it's like, even though i know i'm various things i probably shouldn't be, i'm okay with that... for now. i dno... it's just this good feeling i have.

 

not much else to write about. i find myself growing crushless, with the exception of one boy whom i can't seem to take my mind off.... but thankfully, or unfortunately, which ever way you'd like to look at it.... over two million miles seperate us... so, it's also pretty much nothing.

 

feels good. as funny as it sounds, i have space in mind to think about so many other things... i dno. it's like i said, for a while, i was pretty much lost. and now, i think i'm starting to find the old nikki... only tweaked in some ways. and i gotta say, i like it :D

 

-- N