No digo cosas para decirlos...i love you, take it or leave it.

school school school.

the sunflowers.

that paragraph in the book that always manages to pull the world from up under my feet... twists my mind around a thought bigger than me, and sets me back down firmly grounded.

the song that comes on just as the sun begins to shine, as he puts the windows down and opens the sunroof... tapping to the beet on the steering wheel, going a little faster as the beat catches up with us and the words wrap me up in this invincible optimism... that "everything's gonna be amazing" kinda feeling.

those pictures that were taken during one of the most precious moments... where the mixture of happiness, confusion, guilt, nostalgia, sadness, excitement and everything else we've been given couldn't have shown on our faces any clearer

the aviators.

the journals that have kept record of all the most important dates of my life. from those summer kisses, to the amazing tan, the pina coladas, the frienships that grew, the ones that were lost, others completely severed and some recovered.

the newcomers... how literally, one door closes and another window appears. the way i've learned so many incredible things, and cannot wait to finish seeing all that i have left.

the clothes.

coloring in those old coloring books i used to spend hoursss on. tracing each line with care, and filling them in with macaroni yellows, tickle-me pinks, and periwinkle blues.

the notes my fingers create whenever they hit the key board... as if the connection between note, lyric and key were never lost, were never apart.

the dust on those trophies that are piled in my loft. how each accomplishment is etched in metal... with my name, with my achievement set forever.

how her flag hangs on the wall in my room, and nothing could be more out of place, and more in place. everything it stands for, everything it doesn't. her voice, how its so much a part of me and how mine has been so much of her

the red stool.

this beautiful ring that symbolizes all that i've been through, all that i've seen, heard, felt, experienced, breathed. every moment, every assignment.. all the words, all the drama.. the notes the laughs the crying, the screaming and bitching, the fighting, the making up, the breaking up, the kisses the whispers, those calls, endless texts, the nights talking to my mom while she washes dinner and i sit on the stool by my counter telling her about my life.

how her life will one day be mine.. and how mine was once hers. in a different time and place, with differen't people and seconds... but all within the same story line. mostly the same characters, basic fashion sense, uncontrollable inmaturities and learning experiences.

i don't know what i am, or where i am or how i am. i know myself, i know what i want, i know what i need, what i can offer, what i have and don't want. the things i am, the things i'm not, the way i falsely portray myself, and the way i'll unmask completely and still be misinterrpreted. i've heard it all, yet i've only begun to hear. i've seen it all, and haven't even started to see. i've felt everything, and grown an impenetrable wall because of it. i've learned who and how to trust.. i've learned to trust. i know to let go, i know whats good for me and whats not... i know mostly i'll want whats not. i'm always right, i'm never wrong... i'm wrong for me. i know where i stand, i know where my feet are... but i'll look down, and they'll be covered with sand thats washed up from the shore.

the tiger, the water, the sun and clouds.

it's all in me, it's all part of what i am.

it makes or break my day

it constructs my moments, my seconds

 

the twinkle, the smile, the laugh

creating the outline of me.

 

time.

how that, in itself, never siezes to amaze me.